Liquid Diet Day 1: The Food Junkie Withdrawal

I just need a little something to take the edge off. 

I feel like I should be on Celebrity Rehab. I can pretend to be an important D-List celebrity, the Kardashians do it all the time. 

This morning, I had a whey protein shake mixed with water and a thin slice of banana for flavor followed by a glass of Metamucil for fiber. I made it through the morning fine, it was not until about noon that my headache started and has only intensified through the day. As the day went on, nausea has been added to the symptoms which are overcoming my hunger. For lunch I had a whey protein shake with a thin slice of banana and Hershey pure cocoa for flavor with a cup of broccoli, lettuce and pico de gallo. Being able to chew and put something solid in my stomach was the only pleasurable experience of the day. The nutritionist said if the first few days are rough, I can have a boiled egg. I can't wait to have a gross hard boiled egg when I get home, it is all I have been thinking about all day.

I am going to mix my whey protein with some milk for a little more thickness, if that does not work for me I might have to move to the high protein Boost shakes which have a very good texture. I am hoping that curbs cravings and takes away the nausea and light headed feeling.

I'm off to the grocery store, let's hope I don't faint. 

Fatty Financing

Healthcare is a luxury item in the United States. You only have it if you have a good job or if you’re lucky (Lucky can also mean dirt poor and miserable but at least you have health insurance.). Bariatric surgery is not necessarily covered by insurance companies; some consider it cosmetic while others consider it as important as heart surgery. Insurance will flat out approve or deny you but what the doctors who are encouraging you to get the surgery fail to tell you is how much extra costs incur before and after the surgery. So far, I have had to change my diet and eating healthy can be a bit more expensive than buying Chef Boyardee for $1 a can. Food costs are a given, however, in time the cost will decline due to less consumption unless food prices continue to skyrocket. All the stuff you will need that is not mentioned upfront is costly, for example, Benefiber or Metamucil. You will need to take fiber twice a day, the brand names can run from as low as $10 to as high as $30 depending on the size and at twice a day they go quickly. You will need multivitamins for the rest of your life and those can also be costly. The liquid diet can range in price, if you use premade shakes like Boost or Slim Fast three times a day that can cost you over $100 for two weeks of liquid. The Whey or Rice protein runs about $20 a pound depending on the retailer, if you mix it with water you are getting the best value, however; you may want to mix it with skim milk or Lactose free milk which is another expense. Probiotics are optional but highly recommended by the nutritionists at Bellevue for wound healing and easing your new stomach pouch into running things through smoothly. Probiotics are very expensive, I just ordered Go Greens for $24, I will let you know if they were worth the price. Transportation back and forth to the many bariatric appointments adds up quickly. Other optional miscellaneous items include measuring cups, portion control plates (if you really need that extra help), vitamins to prevent the thinning/falling out of your hair during your initial weight loss, hair weaves/pieces/extensions (if my hair goes I’m getting a piece  put in until it grows back) and various other little things you may need. Then the major expenses after the surgery include clothing and gym memberships. If you know how to sew and tailor clothes you are better off than I am. Gym memberships aren’t necessary but if you do not want to jiggle and flap running down the street or have a home gym this can be very costly.

My best recommendation: COUPONS!

I am pretty coupon savvy and this is still putting a dent in my deeply dwindling bank account. Some of the best coupons you can get come from CVS. CVS spits out coupons like they want to give stuff away for free and you can combine the store coupons and manufacturer’s coupons. Most recently I paid A little under $5 for $30 worth of stuff. If you do not have a CVS find out which store near you is coupon and sale friendly. Buy store brands, you don’t need Metamucil or Benefiber; it is just a catchy brand name. Shop online, sometimes things are cheaper and Google for discount codes or buy things with free shipping just remember free shipping does not always mean you are getting the best deal. Use your hunting and gathering instincts with coupons and if the coupon won’t scan in the self-check out area, call over a employee and ask for their help. There is no shame in coupons and if you can walk away with free stuff you should be proud of it.

Bullying the Fat

I was cleared by psych for the surgery... yay? I was happy and feeling confident until someone in a small group who were standing behind me felt it was okay to grab my ass and then deny it using the, "You're fat and disgusting nobody would want to touch you." excuse. Being the firecracker that I am, I cursed them out and moved away but they continued to come closer to me, mocking me until I finally left the event I was at. To me, being fat is on the same list with being a homosexual, person of color or special needs. I get discriminated against, verbally and physically harassed just the same but nobody is fighting for my rights or sticking up for me because people feel weight is something that can be changed. For some people it is not. For some, being a lazy glutton is why they are a fat bastard/bitch but for some medical problems have caused the weight gain. It is an emotional struggle when your weight is out of your hands even just for the briefest of time and when strangers (or even friends/family) attack you over your weight, it can really set you back.

A former friend of mine ( I don't think I can even say this person was ever really my friend) posted on Facebook that he had gone to the gym and was disgusted at the site of this fat woman working out and wanted to know if he should go to the manager to see if something can be done about it. That kind of attitude is responsible for setting a lot of people back, sure some people are stronger than others like that woman who went to the gym to become healthier, tone or create some killer curves-- whatever body positive thing she was doing at least she was in there trying. However, some of us are not strong enough to boldly display our jiggling bodies even in sweats at the gym and the fat shaming does not help us gain the courage. Despite there being a legal issue had the manager said something to the woman, in other cases it hasn't stopped employees or upper management for being rude to someone for their appearance. If you don't like it, then DON'T LOOK. There is plenty of other things for these people to look at instead of fat shaming and if they want to make a legitimate complaint against them or if in public feel free to shame them right back. Sure it is just more fuel to the fire but make them feel bad about something because people like that will never feel bad about their shitty attitudes.

I often wonder if people are allowed to be fat and proud. Surely doctors will not allow it and society definitely will not accept it. Why do I have to change who I am physically to be socially accepted? Do I really have to get my stomach taken out to be perfect so I can go outside without being harassed? Then won't I be harassed for my good looks (I have been a normal size, the harassment leaned far more into perverted verbal sexual harassment.)? Where does it end?