You Call It Thanksgiving, I Call It Thursday

I feel obligated to say something about Thanksgiving; however, I’ve never been a fan of this holiday. I have issues with how the holiday came to be and what it has morphed into but I will give thanks to all my readers. I appreciate that you want to read what I have to write. 

For those of you who dread Thanksgiving because someone is going to criticize you about your weight, please don’t hesitate to tell whomever it is to shove a turkey leg up it. If they have nothing nice to say then you shouldn’t either. If you are struggling because you are afraid of the extra calories, don’t be. Just remember to eat your protein first and taste other things. If you know something is a trigger, just like junkies have triggers, stay away from it. Don’t even taste it.

If you enjoy Thanksgiving, then have a good holiday. Eat, drink and be merry (unless you just had surgery. Then have a gravy flavored shake and be on with your Thursday.)

In the end, just remember that after all is said and done, it is just Thursday with a fancy name attached.

Hurricane Sandy Post-Op Regret

As most of you know, the east coast was hit by hurricane Sandy, some areas were hit harder than others. I live in an area that was hit hard but not as severely as Staten Island or the Jersey Shore. I had no power, heat, hot water or fresh food for a week. I had to throw out my Greek yogurt, soy milk, purees just about everything I have been living off of in my post-op world. I had to revert back to a liquid diet to get the protein I needed. Protein powder being the only thing that didn’t need to be trashed. When FEMA and the National Guard came with military rations for us, everything was crackers or had rice in it, nothing I can currently digest. All my local hospitals and clinics were shut down. Bellevue Hospital, where I received my surgery took a lot of damage and is not set to reopen until February 2013, hopefully sooner.

Surrounded by all this disaster made me start to feel immense regret for having the surgery. It made me realize how little prepared I was for a disaster and had I lived on Staten Island, the forgotten island that was left trapped for days in the storm how would I have survived? This surgery doesn’t give you much option in terms of nutritional survival in a disaster, especially when you are recently post op. I was on the borderline end of mushy on to solid stage when Sandy hit and I didn’t have many options. The first day of the storm all the supermarkets were selling premade bags of bread and water and nothing else. That didn’t help me. The next day they were all closed and dumped everything in a dumpster, old and young alike were starving and digging through the supermarket’s trashed stock for anything they could eat. I was too afraid to do that fearing the risk of becoming ill with no bariatric doctors available. The regret I felt was more about the inability to survive if things became worse. I kept asking myself, how could I have done this? If another disaster hits how will I survive? Then I would tell myself not to worry, by the time another disaster hits I should be further down the post op line… I hope.

Things are slowly recovering in my area but it made me wonder what are the ways someone post op can prepare for small and large disasters? Winter is upon us and if this current weather is any indication of what is to come, we are all going to need a plan.

What They Don't Tell You

I am officially six weeks out of surgery and down 24 lbs since the day of the surgery and 43lbs in total since the start of the liquid diet. If you have never had the surgery please don’t think this came easy, there is nothing easy about it.

There are a lot of things they don’t tell you, to quote my doctor, “It was have made you more nervous had I told you. Would you have still gone through with it?” My response, “I don’t know because you took my right to make an informative decision away.” They tell you about the potential nausea, constipation, gas, reflux and hair falling out but they leave out other things. For those with chronic back pain, only after the fact did I find out it is common for you to have intense pain, worse than your usual back pain after the surgery. I will come back to this.

On the day of the surgery I started having doubts. I cried and when they put me on the table I was about to say I don’t want to do this but by the time that happened I woke up in agony and it was all ready done. I was so nauseous and the pain was so intense, my mouth felt like a cotton desert and nobody would even give me an ice chip. They had no room available for me and I had to stay in the recovery room until the late evening when they found one for me. The doctors say before the surgery it is very important to bring your medications with you as the hospital does not necessarily have them to provide. I did, I brought my birth control and back medication, however, when I was finally placed in a room I was told my belongings are locked up until the next day. Despite my doctor’s warnings not to miss my pills especially my birth control even if I had it with me, the nurses and doctors after the surgery were not going to allow me to take it because they weren’t letting me swallow anything. Even with the morphine drip, my back was in agony. I was experiencing pain in my back I hadn’t previously experienced. Due to the pain I was out of my very uncomfortable bed which was broken in less than the recommended six hours. I spent my first night walking around and not sleeping. I couldn’t sleep the pain in my back and stomach was too intense and instead of giving me the medication I use for my back they insisted on giving me Vicodan which does nothing for my nerve pain. I didn’t eat(drink broth/whatever that other liquid poison was)  anything the entire time I was in the hospital, everything burned the back of my throat, I only drank water and tea. Despite my back doctor’s warnings the hospital bariatric doctor’s took me off my back meds causing a painful downward spiral in my lower back. By day three of my hospital stay I was ready to get out of there, my back was in agony and that trumped any stomach pain I had. Upon discharge they told me not to take my back meds and sent me home with more damn Vicodan. I was unable to get in touch with my back doctor until the following Monday and she was not happy that I was taken off my meds and after a discussion with the bariatric doctors (which I’m sure she yelled at them because she is all about the well-being of her patients) she informed me to stop the Vicodan and continue the back medication. I was walking on a cane and barely able to get out of bed things were so bad. In addition to he surgery weakening your core (keep in mind you cannot do any core activities for six weeks) it is common for the surgery to pinch nerves in your back because you are on a table for many hours and then in the hospital bed, then lying on your back when you are home. Had I known it was going to make my back worse I might have made some different arrangements or at least made my house a little more comfortable for my condition.

Another important thing to remember is to bring loose fitting clothes and don’t plan on wearing a bra home. I was so swollen that I could barely fit in my sneakers. Bring the most comfortable loose fitting things you own.

At home, I had to make sure I was getting in my three protein shakes a day which even up until the end of the four weeks of the post op liquid diet was a struggle. I have to get up at five to seven A.M. to have my first shake just so I can drink the other two shakes throughout the day plus water. I also had pretty bad nausea starting the second week, I have come to the conclusion that my body no longer wants anything to do with high protein chocolate Boost (maybe it is the sugar) so I just stuck to whey protein, One of the things I found helped me with nausea was V8. I recommend asking your doctor before you try it, V8 is very acidic and my doctors were afraid of reflux but it has not bothered me. I have been getting additional protein by mixing K02 (A Special K drink mix similar to Crystal Light except it has 5 grams of protein) in my whey protein, combined with half water and half soy milk. Despite that, my hair is still falling out. The doctors lied when they said if you get enough protein your hair won’t fall out. Now they told me no matter what I will loose some hair, how much varies and it won’t stop until my weight settles. As I keep losing pounds I will keep losing hair.

Despite all of this, I am now on the pureed portion of the diet. The diet doesn’t bother me, just fitting food in is what does. My daily diet consist of an early morning shake for breakfast, less than a cup of Fage 0 greek yogurt for lunch and a puree I made for dinner. The first week was a broccoli puree, the last week and a half has been an excellent bean puree.

So, this is where I am with everything. A little angry at the doctors and little happy with my progress and excited that my six weeks have passed and now I can go to physical therapy to do some core strengthening to help make my back happy again.

I also want to thank my readers, I know you are out there I see the blog hits. You are a quiet bunch but don’t be afraid to ask questions or tell your story, You don’t have to come out of the fatty closet but you can make your voice heard here. I will be back with updates as often as possible.

Post Surgery Wound: The Official Brand of the Bariatric Cult

I am now post-Sleeve surgery and I have been recovering at home without a computer. I just wanted to get this quick post out there. I have five incisions. I took a picture while I was in the hospital of the largest incision which is in the front of my stomach about two inches above my naval and slightly to the right. This incision was freaking me out because I thought there was blood oozing from the the wound. Looking at the picture you can understand why I thought my insides were leaking out.

A week later, I had my post op to check on my wounds. My doctor said she was going to remove the tape. I flinched a few times before I actually let her do it. I felt that pulling off the tape would cause bleeding and whatnot because for some reason in my head the tape was holding everything together. Once she pulled off the tape there was nothing there but bruises, scars and bandage glue. The smaller incisions are healing pretty well. The larger one has given me some trouble. I have had no infections but I had some fluid coming out of the larger one. As of now, I'm four weeks post op and things are healing well. I was weighed at the post-op and I cannot remember how much I lost (I will get in to the surgery and the healing process in my next post. I wasn't doing so well in pain matters.) but I do know between the start of the two week liquid diet and the day of the surgery I lost 17lbs.

So, now I'm an official branded member of the bariatric cult. I will be back with a run down on the first month of post-op and all the things they don't tell you pre-op.

Liquid Diet Day 14: The Final Day

Fourteen days of protein shakes and vegetables. I am prepared for my surgery tomorrow, I even bought a new video game to kill any boring down time I may have in the hospital, though I don't think there will be much. I am now waiting for the clinic to call me and tell me what time to come in tomorrow morning. I feel indifferent towards this whole thing and I'm more worried about going under anesthesia right now.

The liquid diet has been pretty simple, I'm so full of liquids that I don't feel hungry. My cup of vegetables for the past two weeks has been salad. I like salad so it has not been a problem. For my whey protein shakes, cinnamon powder has been my flavor savior. If there was a issue of immense hunger, dizziness or weakness a boiled egg or a can of V8 has been very helpful. For a treat, frozen ice pops made with Berry Benefiber or Orange Metamucil.  I am sure it is different for everyone based on taste and weight.

The next time I write, there will be a physical piece of me missing and I will be an official member of the Bariatric Cult.

Liquid Diet Day 8: Does it Count if I Don't Swallow?

I didn't pass out from lack of nutrition.

Ten pounds down and one week to go until surgery. The liquid diet has been much easier than I thought it would be. With a shake for breakfast, a glass of fiber and Go Greens in the morning, I'm full of liquids. For lunch another shake and a cup of vegetables combined with my daily intake of water and for dinner another shake and if I am lacking protein for the day, a boiled egg. Then I end my day with another glass of fiber. I'm so full of liquids and constantly drinking them that I have no room for food. The only craving I had the first few days was for cheese but once I started making the whey protein shakes with skim milk, I felt much better.

I have done creative little things to try to get more flavor into this diet including switching over to gummy vitamins. If I really want a treat, I have a fiber ice pop, they cost next to nothing to make and you all ready have all the ingredients, all you need is an ice pop tray. I just miss the flavor of things and sometimes I want to just chew them and spit them out so I can have the taste in my mouth. All seems to be going well for now.

I am, however, getting a little nervous and wondering if I am really making the right decision, especially since I am very much in the closet about this surgery.

Liquid Diet Day 1: The Food Junkie Withdrawal

I just need a little something to take the edge off. 

I feel like I should be on Celebrity Rehab. I can pretend to be an important D-List celebrity, the Kardashians do it all the time. 

This morning, I had a whey protein shake mixed with water and a thin slice of banana for flavor followed by a glass of Metamucil for fiber. I made it through the morning fine, it was not until about noon that my headache started and has only intensified through the day. As the day went on, nausea has been added to the symptoms which are overcoming my hunger. For lunch I had a whey protein shake with a thin slice of banana and Hershey pure cocoa for flavor with a cup of broccoli, lettuce and pico de gallo. Being able to chew and put something solid in my stomach was the only pleasurable experience of the day. The nutritionist said if the first few days are rough, I can have a boiled egg. I can't wait to have a gross hard boiled egg when I get home, it is all I have been thinking about all day.

I am going to mix my whey protein with some milk for a little more thickness, if that does not work for me I might have to move to the high protein Boost shakes which have a very good texture. I am hoping that curbs cravings and takes away the nausea and light headed feeling.

I'm off to the grocery store, let's hope I don't faint.